-- clementine + wade

[enables]

CLEMENTINE & DEADPOOL haven

clementine was just 8 years old when she first arrived in havenrpg, and haven was far from hospitable. fortunately, wade wilson took her under his spandex-lined wing pretty much right off the bat, and over the next few months he earned his stripes as one of the best things to ever happen to her.

even when she disappeared, back to a life of survival and undeath for nearly two full years in which she couldn't even recall that haven (or wade) had existed, he never gave up on her. he kept the walkie-talkie she'd given him. he held her memory close to his heart, until the day came when she finally returned to him. two years in zombie america left her hardened and slower to trust, but they did their best to pick up where they left off, and over the course of her second stay in haven, they built a familial bond that neither time nor yaocorp could dare to break.

until they did, sending clementine back to her homeworld for a second time. this time, however, she left him a promise. she was going to find her way back to him, somehow and somewhere.

█ 12 10 12 ⇢ ❝ I DON'T TRUST STRANGE MEN IN MASKS. ❞

in which they meet, wade begins to win her over, clem lays down the ground rules for what happens if he hurls on her, wade gets a clue about the apocalyptic shitshow she left behind in georgia, and they make plans to go shopping.

( EVENT: REVEAL OF FULLY-FUNCTIONAL HAVEN NORTH )

█ 12 16 12 ⇢ ❝ I KNOW YOU'RE NOT CRYING. BUT IT'S OKAY IF YOU WANT TO. I CRY ALL THE TIME. ❞

in which clementine is haunted by things she can't fix, and wade shows up to listen to her cry about home and lee, to promise that he won't leave her unless she wants him gone, and to hold her while they both fall asleep.

( EVENT: REVEAL OF FULLY-FUNCTIONAL HAVEN NORTH )

█ 12 18 12 ⇢ ❝ YOU SHOULDN'T GET MIXED UP WITH A GUY LIKE ME. I'M... I'M NOT A GOOD GUY. I'M NOT A SUPERHERO. ❞

in which wade breaks his promise after a whopping two days.

( EVENT: REVEAL OF FULLY-FUNCTIONAL HAVEN NORTH )

█ 12 23 12 ⇢ ❝ THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS, OKAY!? YOU CAN'T JUST CHOOSE WHEN PEOPLE CAN CARE ABOUT YOU! ❞

in which clem breaks haven's golden rule and grudgingly lets wade come protect her from the consequences, but not without chewing him out for like three full tags first. guest-starring fake undead lee, whose presence prompts clem to move in with wade instead.

█ 01 03 13 ⇢ ❝ I'M OKAY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ME. HE ISN'T VERY SCARY. ❞

in which wade steps in to defend her from an angry edward elric and the two of them (plus glitch) discuss the semantics of being 'short' versus being 'a midget'.

█ 01 07 13 ⇢ ❝ I'M LOOKING FOR A WALKIE-TALKIE. I ALREADY HAVE ONE... BUT I WANT ANOTHER ONE, SO YOU CAN HAVE ONE TOO. ❞

in which clem wants to go scavenging in haven north and wade refuses to let her make the trip alone.

█ 01 14 13 ⇢ ❝ CLEM! DON'T TALK TO HIM! HE'S NOT SOMEONE YOU CAN TRUST! ❞

in which clem asks kite if she can earn her way home and wade (who blew up at kite in her earshot already) revokes kite's clementine privileges.

█ 01 18 13 ⇢ ❝ UM... WHAT'S A FANBOY? ❞

in which clementine tells wade he's a better hero than iron man and calls everyone who disagrees 'doody'.

█ 01 30 13 ⇢ ❝ I WOULD LIKE SOME COMPANY, THOUGH. JUST UNTIL I... PIECE MYSELF BACK TOGETHER A LITTLE. ❞

in which wade drags himself home from a bad run-in with the tunnels and clem worries over him... a lot.

█ 03 02 13 ⇢ ❝ LEE, THIS IS DEADPOOL. HE'S A SUPERHERO. HE MAKES SURE NOBODY HURTS ME. ❞

in which lee shows up and clem takes him to wade for what has to be the single most bittersweet introduction to ever exist, then moves back into her old room with lee... but at least they still have their walkie-talkies, right?

█ 03 23 13 ⇢ ❝ I'M HUNGRY, FOR-... FOR PEOPLE ❞

in which clem has a horrifying craving for human flesh and seeks help from the only person she knows for sure would (in his own weird way) understand and wade goes above and beyond by literally feeding her his own flesh. it nasty.

( EVENT: FOREIGN DISEASE )

█ BONUS ⇢ ❝ ...BASEBALL. HOW LONG IT'S BEEN SINCE I'VE PLAYED BASEBALL WITH SOMEONE. ❞

in which clementine gloriously misunderstands a sexual metaphor.

█ 03 15 14 ⇢ ❝ clem... you remember me? ❞

in which clementine makes her long-awaited return and wade finds out precisely how much terrible shit happened since she left.

█ 03 16 14 ⇢ ❝ i had that. ❞

in which wade (unnecessarily!!) butts into an argument in clem's defense.

█ 03 18 14 ⇢ ❝ looks like a lot of nothing, plus funny accents. ❞

in which yaocorp employees show up to deliver vaccines and after brief mutual mockery of their guests, wade lets clem know that she's old enough to choose what to do for herself.

( EVENT: YAO VACCINES )

█ 04 12 14 ⇢ ❝ you still don't sound very good. are you sure you shouldn't lay down? ❞

in which wade (for reasons i can't remember) looks geriatric and clem's concerned.

█ 05 21 14 ⇢ ❝ i went back. to north carolina. ❞

in which clem canonupdates to a point much, much worse than she started, and wade briefly worries the apocalypse drove her over the edge.

█ 06 21 14 ⇢ ❝ there aren't even any boys my age, how am i supposed to have a boyfriend? ❞

in which clem tells wade she interrogated the new guy and wade teases her about boyfriends she definitely isn't even close to having, all the while bolstering her self-esteem and feeding her delicious grub.

█ 06 27 14 ⇢ ❝ wanna be my taste-tester? ❞

in which wade's cooking tastes better than dog food.

█ 07 08 14 ⇢ ❝ there we go found you. didn't even have to call out marco-- jesus. ❞

in which they wake up in the murdermaze and wade takes his mask off without hesitation for the first time since clem's met him. he looks just as handsome as he always has. (ft. jesse pinkman and travis touchdown.)

( EVENT: MURDER LABYRINTH )

█ 06 11 14 ⇢ ❝ kite said south. that's where we're going. and then we're gonna get out. i've got a plan. ❞

in which clem's brilliant plan ends up being to hand jesse his own knife and tell him to kill her and wade's like FUCK TO THE NAH.

( EVENT: MURDER LABYRINTH part 2 )

█ 06 11 14 ⇢ ❝ i don't want to die - ❞

in which housemate warren murders the absolute fuck out of clementine, then wade goes postal and he and travis try and hunt warren down.

( EVENT: MURDER LABYRINTH part 2 )

█ 06 16 14 ⇢ ❝ i'm sorry, i'm so sorry... ❞

in which clem comes back, but wade didn't think she would come back so she has to manually pull him out of his meltdown. they hug.

(and clem and jesse agree to keep secret from wade what happened when they 'died'.)

( EVENT: MURDER LABYRINTH follow-up )

█ 08 25 14 ⇢ ❝ hey there, chickpea. what's for breakfast today? ❞

in which suburban clem, suburban wade, and their suburban dog ammy banter over who's making breakfast.

( EVENT: HAVEN SUBURBIA )

█ 08 26 14 ⇢ ❝ then in history we're learning about why yao takes care of us, which is okay i guess but i've heard all that before. ❞

in which they make breakfast again because that's what you do in suburbia i guess??

( EVENT: HAVEN SUBURBIA )

█ 08 26 14 ⇢ ❝ i was just... y'know, wondering if-. if it'd be too weird if i... called you 'dad'. sometimes. ❞

in which wade wakes up from a bad nightmare and clem pretends to be scared so she can make him think he's comforting her when in actuality she just doesn't want to leave him alone with whatever's in his head.

oh, right - she also asks if she can call him 'dad'. (they literally never address this again.)

( EVENT: HAVEN SUBURBIA )

█ 10 24 14 ⇢ ❝ i can't move. i don't know what to do. ❞

in which a technological fuck-up on yao's part has clem going full rigor-mortis with no idea how to make it stop, and wade (of course) coming to the rescue.

( EVENT: WONKY REVIVAL, PARTICULARLY THIS )

( sometime in december, yao took clem from haven yet again... but this time, she was prepared. she left a recording, one that wade would find if she ever disappeared. in it, she reminded him that this isn't the end. that they'd see each other again. that she'd find him, somehow, in haven or wherever else he ends up. she promised. )